Friday, 23 November 2018

SHULE HUISHA! THINGS HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES CAN DO A FTER KCSE.


Doris and Shay have both finished their exams today. Glory be to God!

After four long years of joys, pain and in some cases, misery, Doris was finally through with her maroon school uniform and made a beeline for my place just before the rains started. What happened is history. Shay on the other hand wasn’t around since she must have packed up and left for her mother’s place in western.
Image result for ambira high school students insults amina
Away from her, the nation woke up to the shameful clip of Ambira High School students hurling obscenities while burning their academic books. I won’t say anything about the burning of books because everyone did it-including this writer so there was no big deal about it.

But bragging to all and sundry about cheating in the exams and not getting caught and other destructive things you did last year while recording and posting the clip on social media is not cool. Remember that this is the same school that had arson cases reported. Now the DCI will investigate you, KNEC will mark your papers strictly and you might get bad school leaving reports.

What Next?

What next? That was what Doris had asked me during supper. I promised her that I will get some of the answers for her and here they are.

·         Get a Job- This will keep you busy and earn you some coins. Though it won’t be easy now especially during this Jubilee joke of a regime.
·         Stay out of trouble-Don’t test the penal codes like those Ambira boys. Don’t steal, kill or fight cops. Courts are remanding people for as long as they can and are demanding high bond fees.
·         Don’t talk about the exam-You didn’t do question three in biology? No problem, just don’t talk about the exam. It is over. Gone. Doing so will make you anxious.
·         Go to church-Pray to God to give you strength to endure the work, anxiety and tough times that will lie ahead. You will need it.
·         Stay alive-Young people are dying like flies today. Maybe it’s the sedentary lifestyle coupled with drugs, alcohol or irresponsible sexual behavior premised on the YOLO philosophy. Don’t be stupid. It’s no use dying now yet you have a long enviable life ahead.
·         Avoid politics- Don’t go into rallies or be their errand boy or girl. These dogs don’t give a shit about us-you included. Remember rule number one and five.

Wednesday, 14 November 2018

NO END IN SIGHT



Matiangi is one person you should never underestimate.
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Interior CS Fred Matiangi
Those saccos thought he was bluffing when he said that a crackdown will be done on rogue matatus. Once it began, many thought that it would be just a one day affair and then it ends.

It never did.

Jay lost one of his taxis to the crackdown and my good old friend Steve has not been making profits like before. Reason is that his chief clientele have gone underground in fear of the policemen. Many riders don't have insurance or helmets or even reflectors. Why risk going to jail yet you can just park the bikes or carry your passengers and drop them nearer to the destination?
I have been walking to town and it has been a tiresome exercise for me. I just hope the riders come back because I am tired.

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The boychild president Cyprian is Nyakundi was under one massive attack from the single mother president Akothee just this week. I didn't know that madam boss had such a vile tongue! Those barbs she threw at the fellow were not just brutal, but hell funny!
I was rolling on the ground while reading that long Instagram post.
Today Nyakundi responded to the insult, but not in his typical hard-hitting style.
Has he thrown the towel or is he lulling her into complacency before launching his own comeback?
I don't know. For now, lemme laugh at the jab that the fellow only goes to Sankara to sip one fanta bottle for two hours. LOL!

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Education CS flagging off an exam
Shay hasn't been free of late. She has been doing her exams and going to the public library in town to study for hours before coming home at 10. I say this since that is the time I always come home from my town errands. I have to pass by my joint to drown a jug of keg beer before I settle my body to sleep.

So yesterday we bumped into each other  and guess what, she said hello.

I responded and tried to ignore her but my flesh was weak. Especially after seeing her rounded butt.
"Paper iko aje?"
"Sio mbaya. Lakini makaro!"
"Usijali. It will end."
I invited her for supper and she turned it down. I bade her goodnight before entering my small room.
The point is, I think we have broken the ice. Maybe this month I will be lucky.

Once again, who knows?

Monday, 5 November 2018

KCSE BEGINS BUT NO MATATUS ON THE ROAD!!

Finally, the exam started and I am feeling happy.
Last time I was frustrated at so many things-one of them being my apparent inability to win over my neighbor's daughter. I have to apologize for that not-so-good ending back then. I should've known better.

That aside, I am happy that my friends are finishing up on school with the start of the KCSE exams. Doris will be very thrilled to finish up on four years of non-stop schooling at Londiani Girls Academy. She's been through a lot, from the never-ending supervision in their school to the intrusive pregnancy tests and room  searches.
Once she'll be through, she will have all the time to do what she couldn't do. She loves dreadlocks and that's the first thing she'l have on her head. I have promised to take her to my favorite joint once she's through on 28th. 
Good thing that their school doesn't bar girls from having long hair as long as they can maintain it as per the laid down regulations.
I won't talk about Shay, but I wish her all the best as she tries to make up for her miss.

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Michuki has struck again from his grave. This time the police are on the prowl, looking out for those PSVs that don't tow the line. This move came after a spate of deadly accidents that have claimed lots of lives.


As predicted, Saccos have instructed their matatus to stay off the road till further notice as they try to lobby the government to give them more time to meet the regulations.
In Kericho, the transport system is still running but there are signs that the crackdown has made the transport players to go slow.
Boda bodas are carrying only one from town towards home. Taxis too have complied with the order too. The fares haven't been affected ever since the minimal hike brought by the 8 percent VAT increase.
My take? the rules are just simple.Either they obey the law or risk impounding of their vehicles.

Friday, 2 November 2018

SHE HAS OPTIONS TOO-AND I HATE IT.

KCPE just ended yesterday and Shayla has only three days before she writes her exam yet again on Monday. The month has started well save for the cold treatment that she has been showing me. Doris too is also set for the paper and I wish her all the best.

I won't also forget my cousin who has been waiting for this day to come. He can't wait to get out of school and enter this wretched world where men have to kow tow just to get some good time and girls have to get naked just to get many followers on social media.
That is life. There's nothing more annoying than dealing with a woman who knows she's got options and isn't afraid to flaunt them in your face.

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She came yesterday in the company of another boy who looked young. Since I got paid, I didn't see the need to report to work till I finished up on some errands with my friends and also chip in with the homecoming planning for my brother who had graduated.
"Babe, tumalize revision first alafu tuongee hizo story zingine." She said to the guy she only called babe
"Sawa. I need to be home by seven."
"Kwani umekaliwa na matha yako?"

I suppressed a giggle. I had to focus on washing my lunchtime dishes. Shay could be sarcastic sometimes. They stayed for sometime till nightfall. The boy got out minus her and I could tell that she wasn't in the best of moods. Maybe the guy had a pencil dick or he was too clueless to 'read the signs' that she wanted it. You know how women communicate-Indirectly. Anyway he looked like a nerd.
I can't blame him.

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She didn't go to school today because another boy came visiting. I felt jealous because he looked every bit a 'woman-eater'. He looked like those estate playboys, the clean cut fellows with trim beards, good cologne and a silver tongue capable of misleading the devil.
Shayla, I get it. You got options available. Lots of them as I have seen. You don't have to be such a prick with me. I get it that you were disappointed with me over that day so let it slide. You don't like me fine, Doris will.

Just don't try too hard to pass a simple message.

HOW I FINALLY GOT THE HONEYPOT(WARNING 18+)

Its official, I'm now single. I've had a drama-filled 2018 with my run-ins with Susan, Miriam and Shay plus the good times with...