SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

The problem of getting your hopes up is that they can come dashing down fast. I learnt this the hard way during my excursions with Emma during the past weekend.

The date at the market was great, despite a brief howler where we met her potential sister-in-law doing her shopping there. I was so nervous that Emma had to pinch my butt several times to remind me to snap out of it. Unlike me, she handled the whole thing with a professional flair. She seemed to handle her indirect sarcasm with her own wisecracks well enough. She did not flinch even an inch. This made me love her the more. In another world, Emma would make a perfect John Wick, brave when facing adversaries and ever armed with some nasty surprises(or insults too)

How desperate I have become

At the sunday mass, we sat close to each other and even took the Holy Communion together. Later on, we had lunch at her aunt's place and then watched the old classics on citizen television. The good thing was that it did not rain. The bad thing was she was non-comital about her future. 
"So, Sam akibreak engagement, what next?"
"Don't know. But life will continue."
Only that?! after all those moments. I was expecting something close to like, about us. I was hoping that she would address the issue, even if she would lie about it. That was better than ignoring it altogether. This is how desperate I have become since Chebet left for school.
"So where will I be in your future?"

Damage control method

She chuckled and toyed with one of my locks.
"Of course you will be there. As a friend. That is." She then deftly switched the topic to some nonsensical issue just as a damage control method. The day went on perfectly and when the wedding show started, I rose to leave.
"Ras, everything will be fine, just trust me." Then she slightly made me happy by giving me a long uncharacteristic hug. However It was a case of being so close yet so  far.